You’ve got a past. I’ve got a past. The guy bagging his groceries next to you at Winco’s got one, too. Like many things in this life, its not what happens to you but rather…what you do with it.
Its easy or at least easy adjacent to shrug off much of what lands on us. Traffic, a rude customer, a sassy teenager or a cold coffee on a morning when you really, really needed a full pick me up…all annoyances to be sure, but not the kinds of experiences that will stick to you for long. Or at least that’s what I tell myself when I’ve regained my sense of decorum after being unceremoniously cut off on the road.
So then, what do you do with the events, words, mistakes, one off never to be repeated successes or abject failures that make up a larger than we’d like slice of our time here?
Obviously, the bigger the experience, the harder it can naturally be to move forward & my hat’s off to anyone dealing with major trauma residue on the daily. Trudging alongside your scars, while still eeking out joy & purpose, y’all rock hardcore. There’s something highly aspirational about those who believe that that life still has meaning when that same life has told them that they’re not always the ones in charge.
Its those times when adversity strikes or when tremendous success occurs that can define us. Take the person who finds serious illness on their doorstep. One may decide to live freely, without regret or concern over perceptions. Another might use the diagnosis to become bitter & to spread that around like seeds in a garden. A lottery winner who gives much of their windfall to their community or to charities is very different from the individual whose personality changes for the worse & who burns through the funds in record time without building anything lasting.
Alike yet dissimilar paths.
On the other hand, we make decisions regularly where outcomes are not guaranteed & despite that, we still go for them. Dating, a daring new hair style, avocados…there’s a 50-50 chance that what we’ve chosen will not end in our favor. Doesn’t mean that we won’t learn something solidly good in the process. Calculated risks, sprinkled with a bit of luck, make the world go round. We’ve all returned to Trader Joe’s for another bag of potentially tasty guacamole to be even when round 1 failed spectacularly because hope springs eternal, yes it does.
Returning to coexisting with the yuck…people do it every day, many without our knowledge of what they’ve endured. Maybe that pain is so deeply personal or felt that it cannot be uttered. Or someone’s decided to internalize so as to keep functioning. Whatever the reason, if its working for them, keep going.
Others prefer to share their woes. Taking control over judgement calls that spiraled that be a powerful way to move out of the darkness. Taking control by publicly owning your part, damn that’s something big.
I suppose the long & short of all of this is…what are you carrying? How has it shaped you, both in positive & not so much ways? Does it define your story? Did you grow from what tried to hold you down?
We are a resilient & hearty breed, which is a marvelous thing, yes it is.
